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Men Without Pants

The Herring Voices

Frothing at the Mouth: Men Without Pants Edition

June, 2000

Da Table of Contents

Do Not Read This

 This is Herring Voices, the newsletter of the sometimes mightyish House Red Herring (name and device lost twice by the herald-types) of the Society of Creative Anachronism, Inc. Herring Voices is not available to the general SCAdian public, although copies sometimes find their way into strange places and non-Herrings have reportedly read it without feeling any ill effects (unless they have a nervous stomach where bad jokes and/or non-period pseudo-literature are concerned). It is possible that if you are given a copy of this newsletter that Herring collective is observing you for possible future voluntary assimilation. Remember, you cannot run or hide from your ridiculous side... it is a part of you and you must become one with it to achieve harmony in the universe... or not.

It is resoundingly obvious that Herring Voices is not a corporate publication of the SCA, Inc., and does not come within a bent herring's throw of delineating SCA policies. Actually, if the corporation knew about us, they'd probably hurl.

CREDITS
We are all almost totally irresponsible. Mother Herring sends cold, squishy greetings.

SUBMISSION REQUIREMENTS
All submissions must have been created by a member of House Red Herring, a Herring candidate, or must have been stolen fair and square.

!! SPOON !!

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Heard Friday Night at Men Without Pants...

  • "Oh yeah, that's a lot stiffer!"
  • "Ooh, I love your pyjamas."
  • "Do you want him back now?"
  • "Where's the erasable markers when you need them?"
  • "Hey... they're duds!"
  • "You gotta be really careful how you hang 'em though, otherwise they end up over here and over there... you know?"
  • "My cloves are falling off!"

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I AM A HERRING!

(a filk)

I'm not nobility
Or a peasant
And I don't necessarily care if my garb isn't period...
And I don't know how my people bred sheep,
Although I'm pretty sure I wouldn't care, even if I did
I have a collective
Not a liege lord
I speak goof-off with an SCA accent
Not Celtic, Old Norse or Old English
(although they sound cool)
And I pronounce it "S.C.A."
NOT "Sca"
I can proudly sew red fish on everything.
I believe in assimilation
Not exclusion
Marshmallow wars
Not politics
And that the Herring is a truly Silly fish.
A sheep war is done with sponges
Spoon is a battle cry
Sniffing your friends is a greeting
Non-period dances in the dark ARE the most fun
And if I can't toss the Duchess, what's the point?!?!?
House Red Herring is the largest House in Ealdormere
And the school is OUT
My name is Red
And I am a Herring!

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We asked House Red Herring: "If you (meaning your persona) were wearing boxer shorts, what would be on them?"

Bruce So'C
Plaid!! Come on, I'm a Celt. What did you expect?

Cecelia the Bountiful
Pink hearts, of course.

Celestria Welles
Connect the dots.

Duncan
Boxers? Boxers? We steenkin' Scots dinnae wear boxers! But, if I did wear 'em, they probably be plaid. I'm too cheap to wear underwear, as its SOOOOO expensive to replace them when all the women keep ripping them off. *runs and hides from his Lady*

Ivana
I wouldn't wear boxer shorts. If I did, what would the boxer wear? My skirts? They'd be a little hard to fight in.

James
A diaper, silly! Oh, wait! That's what's UNDER them!

Linnet
Either a picture of the Squeeze (Louis' nickname at Pennsic), or a whirlwind.

Magnus the Meek
A picture of what's on the inside.

Roland
What makes you think I'm wearing any underwear?

Skallagrim
An oarsman or two. Maybe three if it's a slow day.

Thorvald
I'd only wear the elastic and let the rest speak for itself.

Valizan
1) Food that spilled on my lap. 2) My hands. 3) Hey, I AM wearing boxer shorts... Leopard print! 4) errr, that's it.

Wilheem
I would have to say a lampshade. Simply because they would fit better on my head, under the lampshade, than over it... heaven forbid I wear them under my clothes....eeeesh:p We are men without pants for a reason ;>

Willamona
Boxer shorts? If I won't wear panties, why would I wear boxer shorts?

Zillah
SPOON!!!!!!! Or... FISH!!!!!!!!
The auto spellchecker keeps trying to turn "Pennsic" into "Penis"... is there something you guys aren't telling me?!?

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NAME IDEAS FOR FROTHING 2001

Frothing at the Mouth:
  • 2001 -- A Splake Oddity
  • I Gotta Lego
  • A Fish Called Willa
  • A Shared Fish-en for the Future
  • Mussel Mania
  • Screaming Haddock
  • One Fish, Two Fish
  • Still Moist
  • Still Lumpy
  • Squeaky!!
  • Little Red Rented Roe Boat
  • Kipper... I Don't Even Know Her!
  • Land Without A Snood
  • Flipper... I Don't Even Know 'Er!
  • Things That Rhyme With ______
  • Pool Noodle
  • Kipper Caper
  • Fish-mas in June
  • Holy Mackrel
  • When you're happy and you know it clap your fins!
  • The Sound Was Like Ago-goo-goo...
  • Say, What A Lot of Fish There Are
  • Fun With Emus
  • It Starts With a Woo! Then You Go
  • Crazy With the Hips!
  • Who's Bringing the Sheep?
  • Punning Our Way to the Top
  • Don't Ask Me, I'm Just the Autocrat
  • Boxcar Wilheem
  • Dinner for Eight
  • Once Over Easy
  • Don't Ask
  • 'Nuff Said
  • You Got a Problem With That?
  • We're Not Really Fish, You Know
  • Autocrat Without a Clue
  • Zippy Gets A Magic Towel
  • Viking Raids and Labour Market
  • Economics
  • The Social Psychology of Berserking
  • Coconuts + Paste = Moist + Lumpy

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